


No heart, no soul, no man

by Miss_Black91



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Angst, F/M, M/M, Pain, Pirates
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-04
Updated: 2017-04-04
Packaged: 2018-10-14 18:57:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10542531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Black91/pseuds/Miss_Black91
Summary: Spoilers for the finale.Flint didn't say anything either because it would have been a huge weight on Silver.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [The Sacrifices We Make](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10530063) by [yunhaiiro](https://archiveofourown.org/users/yunhaiiro/pseuds/yunhaiiro). 



Flint saw the hunger in his eyes. He could feel it in his skin, as if every time that Silver looked at him he tried to scratch him. He knew it, even if Silver had never said a word. He knew it, and he knew even better that Silver would never, absolutely never, say anything. Maybe he was too scared. Maybe he himself was too scary.

 

But Flint would be doomed if he didn't know everything about the way Silver looked at him.

 

Of course, he didn't say anything either. It wasn't that he wasn't interested (in more than one way it would have been very interesting indeed), but he lived in the shadows, and there there was only space for ghosts in such darkness. Those ghosts haunted him, those ghosts had faces and voices, and those ghosts took his heart with them a long time ago, a very long time ago. Flint is sure that dark magic exists because he's also sure that it's impossible to live without a heart, yet he is doing it exceedingly right.

 

(And something in his head knew that those ghosts has the rights over his heart, that the ghosts took his heart because they were allowed to, because it was theirs and not his to possess, and he couldn’t complain about it then).

 

Flint didn't say anything either because it would have been a huge weight on Silver, and the man  _ deserved more _ , much more than a broken man with no heart and only the shadow of a soul. He wasn't sure what Silver saw in him, it was probably a clash of great minds and the loneliness of the life that they had both chosen, it was probably the intimacy that had grown between them, damn him if he knew. But the intimacy  _ was _ there, the hidden looks were there, and he could feel it in his skin every single time that Silver stared at him for too long, oblivious of his knowledge. Silver knew nothing, but he knew, he had known for way too long now.

 

He couldn't say a word even if something inside him ached, something inside him craved that human contact that he missed so much, even if every time that he saw Silver's eyes he felt that tremendous need inside him calling him to take care of him, ask him what the fuck he wanted, how he wanted and how many times he wanted it. He didn't do it because he knew he wouldn't be able to offer anything after it. He knew about men, he knew about desire and he knew about what it makes in the hearts of lonely people: he was too broken to offer more than the immediate satisfaction that an able body could offer.

 

And those thoughts only filled him with pain and grief. Pain because, in a way, in his non-human-and-possibly-a-soulless-monster-way, he felt for Silver. He didn’t know what he felt, he didn’t know what name he should give to it, but he felt it. More than friendship, of course he knew that. But it wasn’t what his heart once felt (for he, remember, had no heart anymore). He felt, he cared, he was loyal to him. It was too much, it was even worse knowing that he could have it all, that he could reach it with his fingertips and he could feel it all right now, and to hell with the consequences.

 

(Grief, because every time that he saw those feelings inside him, a voice in his head said  _ Thomas _ , and once again  _ Thomas _ , and even again  _ Thomas _ . He slept and  _ Thomas _ , he had nightmares and  _ Thomas _ , he was fully awake and  _ Thomas _ , and he knew there would be nobody in earth or seas able to fill that void, able to heal that grief, able to make him forget).

 

And then,  _ Madi. _

 

She saved them both, if he had to be honest. It pained him even more, he blamed himself for being a coward, but Silver drove his heart to her, and that was exactly how it should be. Flint wasn’t blind, he considered himself a pretty smart man, and he saw what Silver had seen in Madi: he saw a lot what he had been wanting for a long time in Madi. Silver, without noticing, without knowing, had found a Flint that had a heart, a soul, and wasn’t so broken that couldn’t be fixed. Madi was someone who could give Silver more that the instant satisfaction, and who could offer him her heart after that. And Silver deserved that, Silver deserved to be loved with a whole self. 

 

He couldn’t do that. He was too broken, he was too lost, he was too damaged. He was all scars and no skin anymore. But if he had to fight for Silver to be happy, he would. Even if that meant to feed the loneliness inside him, he would. Everybody knows that monsters can’t feel lonely, right? Then it would be okay, he would survive somehow, even if living had no place in it. And Madi could. He liked Madi, he saw a lot of himself in Madi and he understood why Silver had felt that connection. 

  
(Even if he saw how Silver still looked at him. Even if he knew that, if he said the words, Silver would do anything for him. Even if he still felt the temperature rising when they looked at each other for too long).

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed reading this. I wrote it while dealing with the finale, and I hadn't written fanfiction in a very long time. A very very very long time.


End file.
